Skip to content

Baby name machine

I can’t stand modern trends in baby-naming. It makes me want to shake new parents by their lapels. Really? You named you kids Nevaeh and Cayleb? Fortunately, I also don’t give much credence to the so-called deterministic power of names.

But naming is still hard, even if you don’t think that only the right choice can guarantee success and heterosexuality in the next generation. For these and many other good reasons, I like family names. And since I didn’t get to chose those names, why not let a crude computer program do the choosing for my (hypothetical) kids?

I built a simple Java doohicky to randomly draw two names from my pool of boys and girls names. For my pool, I used all the first and middle names in my and my girlfriend’s families from the last two generations. Then I bundled the whole thing up in an embedded frame and stuck it at the bottom of this post.

There are several problems with this implementation. Since first and middle names are drawn from the same pool, occasionally the same name comes up for both. Worse, I explained the project to Molly’s mom, and now she thinks she has a grandkid coming. Oh well — give ‘er a whirl and let me know what you think.

Post a Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.